"Getting-to-know" never ends

I have known many couples who break up and separate despite the long years of being together (which is rare these days- the long years I mean). Most of them are celebrities, but a few are also in my social circle. These couples had been together for at least 5 years, had known each other's families, relatives and friends, and had already plans for their future wedding, dream house and family. Everybody expected they would end up being together but things would not always end up as what you thought it would be.

When I hear about a couple's sudden break-up, I feel bad and regret at the same time. My thought would always be: "Sayang ang ___ years.. :(" Then I'd ask what separated them together; there were diverse answers, as expected, but the most common ones involve a third party, being tired in a stagnant relationship, and falling out of love.

Partners in a romantic relationship, especially the guys (no offense), stop being effortful when the courting period ends and the relationship begins. They stop giving surprise gifts and cheesy letters, texting random things at random times, and even talking for hours at night. People usually take the relationship for granted especially if it has already endured for a long period of time, they think that they'll not be left behind.

On the contrary, the "getting-to-know-you" stage should never stop in the relationship stage even though you've been together for quite a time. As what I have learned from the movie Fireproof, one must always study his/her partner like how one studies to get a degree; one must continue learning about his/her significant other and also show that you still care and love her.

There are various ways to do this, it can be by organizing a candle-lit dinner at home with your own cooked meals, lying in bed at night while talking about your day at work or home, sharing pieces of information you've never shared before, and the most important one is by truly listening to what he/she has to say before nagging or getting angry for petty mistakes.

As Scott Peck said: "Love is effortful." That's why relationships should never be stationary, they must continually grow, evolve, and be nurtured. One must not be so complacent with the way things work for now, they might differ in the future. No one really knows and no one can know. The only thing you can do today is appreciate and value your relationship and your happiness. Make an effort and show how you truly love and care and maybe, you will discover more about your partner which you haven't known before.

P.S. Listen to the message of this song by The Script :)