Looking back

Blogging? It's been such a long time.
My last post was November of 2012 and I haven't written a single entry since then.
Probably one of the reasons why I quit was because of time constraint.
"There's no time for that" or "Time is of essence, I need to utilize it for studying" were my thoughts back then.
But how did I ended up going back here in my blog?
Probably because of our activity in a certain class.

Last week, the class was divided into groups and was tasked to organize a talent show.
Our group was probably what you can call the "non-visual" talent group.
We are the writers and artists. The few people (we were only 5) who loves to write and draw.
And how can you even perform writing or drawing in front of the class within 5-10mins?!

Because of the difficulty of the task, I was forced to think of creative ideas/plots/stories to write and at the same time, to present to the class.
Forcing myself to create a piece was a bad idea. I tried so hard but kept experiencing writer's block. 
I hate that feeling when you couldn't find the right words or rhymes..
That was the moment when I realized that I need not force myself, I just need to find my past self.

That's when I remembered my blog.
I opened the link and read my entries way back.
I couldn't help but laugh as I scrutinize my works back then.
There's wrong usage of grammar, incorrect spelling and punctuation marks, and even the absence of parallelism.
Yet, no matter how much I scrutinized them, I still love them.
Those were the products of my passion for writing; and every single one of them was made with inspiration and love, compared to my works today which were only made for compliance.

I slept early that night without bothering myself to write a poem.
Then I woke up at 3 am and found myself already composing a poem!
I realized then that if you love what you do, it will come to you naturally, just like breathing.
If you force yourself to do something, then that's not love at all :)

I just looked back in order to find my past self who's passionate in writing.
The me who loved to create poems beside the sea, the me who loved to think of short stories in the middle of the night.
By looking back I did found my lost love and passion -- writing, and bonus, I even found happiness.

Realization?
Sometimes, we only need to look back, because in looking back, maybe there's more to what we seek that we can find ;)

Happy February!